Monday, February 7, 2011

Kitchen Disasters

When I started my blog, I promised to document the bad with the good.  My husband suggested I post about kitchen disasters, of which I've have my fair share.  They usually end with the smoke alarm buzzing, all our windows open, and a pot of some burnt food airing out on the sidewalk.  And most of them involve incidents when I should have known better.

A few years ago I was carefully following the directions on a package of dry split pea soup mix.  The directions said it needed a few more minutes.  Within those few minutes I had a kitchen full of smoke and quickly discovered that the windows in my kitchen wouldn't open!  I called the management office and the meanest manager of them all picked up.  It was difficult to explain to her that I needed the handy man NOW, not when he had time at the end of the work day or tomorrow, without admitting to this bitter women my pea soup mishap.


I've had a couple instanced of fabric catching fire.  Once I was using a towel as a pot holder to remove a pan from the oven.  The cotton towel grazed the hot oven coil and quickly caught fire.  Recently, I had my black olives in salt resting on the stove with a cloth on top.  I accidentally turned on the wrong burner and the whole cloth caught fire while my back was turned!  I had to throw away the hand embroidered cloth and the plastic bowl that held the olives.  I know I'm not supposed to leave plastic containers or towels on the range, but I guess I have to relearn my lesson once in a while.

Recently, I've had a string of glass-breaking incidences.  It began in December with my beautiful glass bowl with the blue leaf.  That very day I had been thinking how much I loved it, but one day it might break, and how might I feel?  That evening I was doing dishes.  I looked around for one of the Pyrex bowls or the measuring cup I usually use for my hot soapy water, but I only saw my favorite bowl.  It happened as in slow motion... I started pouring the boiling water in the bowl... thinking it was a bad idea... but I couldn't stop myself... and then I heard... POP.  I saw a thin crack crawl down the side of my beautiful bowl.  Thank G-d my father was there to help me through this tough time and take care of the remains of the bowl.

A few weeks ago I had my first attempt at bulgur pilaf in a brand new pot staying warm in the oven.  When I went to retrieve the dish, I found that the glass top to the pot had shattered, rendering the food inedible.  The most embarrassing part is that I actually thought I could salvage a little bit of the pilaf to show my husband how good it was.  He was too scared to enjoy it, and now I can't eat hot bulgur wheat without worrying about glass in my food.

And last week, I had probably the most expensive glass mishap.  While I was sewing aprons, I was ironing them on a few towels on our kitchen table.  I forgot that our table has glass on top and that heat and non-tempered glass don't mix.  And again... POP.  I managed to cover up the problem with packing tape to delay telling my husband.  By the time I prepared him he wasn't so upset.  But really, I should have known better.

I won't even tell you about my glass mug in the electric kettle experiment, the two times we had to evacuate the house when I was trying to make popcorn, soups gone awry, and things turned green and fuzzy before their time.  Did I mention I still haven't gotten all the baking soda out of my oven?  I think you've heard enough for today.  Now it's your turn!

Please share some of your most memorable kitchen disasters.  Maybe you can save others from dangerous and costly mistakes.  Or maybe you will just give us a chuckle.  If you have pictures of the damage, e-mail them to nonrecipe (at) gmail.com.

3 comments:

  1. Good for us to hear! Makes me feel competent LOL.

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  2. Great topic!!!
    My absolute worst kitchen disaster (and I have had many) was back in the day when I used to store dirty Shabbos dishes in the oven. I didn't have a dishwasher, and this was a less smelly option than storing them in the sink. I used to leave the chicken in the oven Friday night, and set the oven timer to go off after the meal. This way the oven wasn't running all Shabbos.
    One Shabbos, we were sitting at Seudah Shlishit, and I smelled an odd smell. First I thought nothing of it, but the smell was getting stronger so my husband and I went to have a look around the house. My oven timer had malfunctioned and the oven turned back on!!! I had lots of company that Shabbos and ALL my china was in the oven. I mean ALL of it.
    We scrambled like mad to get it out and fortunately only two pieces broke. It could have been SO much worse.
    I don't have to tell you that it was the last time I stored dishes in the oven!!!

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  3. Pesach cleaning - I tried to pick up the ceramic range with a screwdriver to clean the countertop under it. I didn't realize the electrician had mounted it with screws. With one gentle push, the glass-like ceramic top split in two. $500 :(

    I sometimes turn plates upside down on the platta to keep the food above them from overheating/burning. I didn't know that plates crack that way. Fortunately it was an old set that had been regifted to me by someone who didn't want it as a wedding present...and I was still able to pass on much of the set to someone who was moving out :)
    We also had a smelly accident with non-microwavable plastic plates in the microwave.

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